Getting started is hard. But this is why i’m here; I am alone. And it is my fault. I realized that i’ve been hiding. I enter into situations with a closed heart. I am terrified of girls/women and i always start things off feeling like they are going to end. Then there is the fact that I am weird, and I feel like I don’t fit in. Nobody wants to hear about the things i am interested in. Well, nobody around here. I’m vegetarian in a small suburban town. I do weird things to my hair. I dress funny. I have skulls all around my house. I am nearly chemical free in my lifestyle. These things are opposite of the beliefs of pretty much anyone i come into contact with. (Plus i’m a stay-at-home mom so i meet very few people anymore!) So then i enter into social situations believing that nobody will like me or that everyone will think i’m strange. So of course they do! I even avoid my friends because I feel like i have nothing to contribute. But I guess I’d like to change that. I need to stop being afraid; to enter in with an open heart and not be afraid to get hurt. I’d like to have friends and a social life and be able to express myself openly. I just don’t want it to hurt.